Prayer of Commission

Written 13 August 2008

This is song two of three that I've finished in the last week and a half. It deals with something that's been vexing me lately: that is, placing myself in front of people. It's not stage fright that grips me; no, rather, quite the opposite in that I'm either a) quite on fire for the Lord, or b) quite the ham, depending on how you look at the situation. For those of you who have ever been annoyed by my over-extroverted moments, rest assured I hate it more than any of us. So, my problem has been two-fold, the first being whether or not I'm up there for my own glory or God's.

The second is whether I'm worthy to be helping lead others to Christ. I'm scared someone, somewhere, is going to put me up on a pedestal I definitely don't deserve. It's one of those, "Hoo, boy, if you only knew the things I've been forgiven for!" I know, it's completely irrational, isn't it? No one's sin is greater than another's especially in light of forgiveness, but I'm just paranoid, and needlessly, too!

So, through this song I've had a chance to let go of some of the things that have had a grip on my psyche. In fact, because of the cathartic nature of the songwriting process, and through a lot of prayer, I just today volunteered at two of the churches I go to here on Sundays (it's a long story we don't have time for here, but I go to three services with the group of women I dorm with here in Joplin): keyboard at one, and drums at the other. No, I couldn't manage to play something at which I'm proficient at either church. *sigh*

So, musically, the chords are pretty straight-forward. One interesting tidbit is that I completely plagiarized one of my own songs in the PC (pre-chorus). Chords? Melody? Yep. This seems to be a trend here of late. Anyhow, the PC is from "Chinese Friendship Poem," an art song I composed for my bestest buds the Ohlsons for Christmas last year. I think they'll forgive me, plus I seriously doubt a situation would arise where they'd both be performed in the same setting. :) Otherwise, musically, I was particularly fond of the movement between the major I and minor iv. I can't think off the top of my head if I've had a chance to use that before.

Guide me, Lord, to do Your will Listening for Your voice, refining me still Wisdom and knowledge to know whatÕs right I pray for discernment, ever seeking Your light Humble me to answer Your call Strengthen me to tear down the wall Of my fear to face them all Send me, Lord, where You would have me go Into this world to share the word like seeds of faith to sow By Your hand, You will provide For in You I will abide Constant in this fervent prayer: Show me the path, and by faith I will go there. By Your grace, I have been saved To the sins of this world, no longer enslaved By Your blood, You purify Inscribing on my heart the will to comply Stay with me as I draw You near Speak through me in spite of my fear, So itÕs Your voice that they hear Send me, Lord, where You would have me go Into this world to share the word like seeds of faith to sow By Your hand, You will provide For in You I will abide Constant in this fervent prayer: Show me the path, and by faith I will go there.

commentary coming soon